When a Voice Reaches Out For Words in the Vast Webspace for an Answer...

"I don’t know if this is what the part of ur page is even for. But I’m going with what I feel and that’s to comment on any sort of tired thoughts i may have that are just swimming around my head making things so much harder to do what it is that I’m supposed to do. If my comments is not meant for this, please feel free to delete its contents. Or let me know how to to do so myself. I am haunted by my own darkness. It’s mind and soul are so broken and I’m followed by a darkness for which I truly feel like there’s no escape. People often misunderstand me so I spend much of my time in my own mind which is me living in within my own hell loop. I want to be freed from this pain and darkness so very much. I’m engulfed in the rage, kept awake from my pains. The past has forecasted into my present. I spent my present time always over obsessing about things that haven’t even occurred yet. And fearful I’ll never be given a chance to make right my ultimate wrongs. I have created an invisible film of gloom which is the forecast as far as the eye can see. I want to feel free I want to be be free I want to see joy and happiness again. I find comfort in talking to the shadows as the lights of the night gleam past my vision. I want healing so bad I just don’t have money like that to pay for services and I don’t know where to even begin in fixing how shattered my soul is. Any suggestions."

You know, I hear you and see you. I could make it easy on myself and point you to the various resources of the things I offer to people to help them, for free, to process their own mind and their difficulties. YouTube, Podcast, TikTok, ect, ect.

But I don't want to just do that, to do the easy thing, to do the shortcut version of things. Because sometimes the first step in this all, taking the liberty of taking your comment as a chance to reach out and talk to you, to recognize I see you and hear you sister. And they're really words on a page, that to me represents all my effort to take you seriously and may mean nothing to you in your struggles. You have a choice to hear me or not, and I have a choice to listen to your words or not. I chose to listen.

All that comes to me is, "I see you". What I can tell you, when I as a healer have struggled with the same darkness, the same wonderings the same issues or suffering is to offer a few pieces of advice.

1.) Never stop putting one foot in front of the other. We are never truly stuck, but there is always at least one maybe microscopic thing we can make better. Whether it is to change a thought, or make a conscious choice to do something a little bit better for us (go outside in the sun, do something pleasurable, take a hot bath, anything that makes us feel better) to dedicating ourselves to the big steps. But when the big steps seem to big, and we don't know where to turn, the small steps are where we start.

2.) Never stop searching for an answer to your own healing.

Healing and healers are unfortunately not a magic wand for a cure all. Do I believe in them? Absolutely, they offer us things that help us get to the next step. They are what I do for a living. I must believe in them.

But I understand one thing after doing this for so long. Only *I* can truly be the one to heal myself. A healer offers me support, guidance, clarity, direction, energy, compassion, relief, and a multitude of other things.

I can offer you a variety of techniques to do at home to help you heal yourself. But the first step in all of it is the agreement you make to yourself to never give up on yourself because you are worthy of healing and happiness and no one in this world can offer you the forgiveness you seek except you. Even if I offer you the forgiveness now, knowing or not knowing all of your experiences, you may still reject it. Will it be enough? Will my own forgiveness be worthy enough for you to feel you can climb out of the darkness into the light? Will all the world's forgiveness be enough?

When will you feel you are enough? In Spirit's eyes, you already are forgiven. We are all people, sometimes who do horrible things. But as a healer, there's a dedicated promise I try to make. We are all worthy of that effort to heal when someone intends to make the choice to do so. That doesn't mean there isn't discretion and boundaries and holding people accountable. There definitely is, because healers are human. But to the best of our ability, we will push our ability farther out to help as much as possible. But a genuine healer, counselor (which I am not certified in), psychic or any other method of guiding you to your personal truth will help you understand the healing begins with you.

What is one perspective you can change today about you that is a little bit more compassionate, or a little bit gentler on yourself?

One is the one ray of light you can crack in your window?

Can you give yourself permission to even believe that the healing is truly possible and it is truly possible to be happy?

When we commit to the path we will do anything and look anywhere to find it.

This may not be the answer you are hoping for, but maybe the one that is needed.

I see you, sister. I hear you. I acknowledge you. And I hold space for you to find your next step in your journey. 

Find just one sliver of light, and then look for the next.

​Love of the Divine to you.